New NHL Sprains Brains

CONCUSSIONS ARE ON THE RISE

Well, the good news is that the NHL has been successful at bringing high speed action and excitement back into the game but the bad news is that's caused a increase in high speed collisions and resulting head trauma that's forcing some of the league's best and brightest to the sidelines.

When you redesigned the game and took out all the interference, you neglected to think about one dangerous side effect: Speed.

With the emphasis on free-flow hockey, officials have removed speed limit signs and the result are some cataclysmic collisions. As many as a half-dozen concussion-causing hits in the first month of the season.

Huh, and here I thought the problem a lot of people were complaining about was the lack of hitting in the new game. Learn something new everyday.

The NHL... The National Head-trauma League.


GOALIES UNDER ATTACK


It's a tough year to be a goalie, to say the least.

Not only have they had their gear shrunk and the rules changed in order to get more pucks past them there's also been talk of the league introducing slimmer more form fitting and uniquely colored jerseys for the goalies so they'll stand out more and also have less fabric draped on themselves that has the potential of ensnaring pucks. Hell, the way it's been going they might as well put bull's-eyes on them also.

In the new NHL, the crease, once an area where angels feared to tread, has become as approachable as Tara Reid on dollar beer night. Forwards dart through the crease with reckless abandon as defensemen watch passively, paralyzed by trying to play within the rules that have been on the books for decades but have rarely been enforced.

Meanwhile, goalies -- no longer allowed to clear the area with a paddle to the groin of an imposing attacker like in the good old days -- can't protect themselves. They may as well replace the team logo on their chest with a bull's-eye.

Aaah, yeah, that's what I said.... bull's-eyes.

Anyways as always:
Mommas DON'T let your babies grow up to be goalies.


PUCKS, LIES and VIDEOTAPES

He fought the law and the law... LOST.

Legendary hockey enforcer Bob Probert was cleared of all charges this past week in relation to a assault on police officers that was alleged to have taken place at Bob's place. His own surveillance system's videotape provided the proof needed to clear him.

Police were called to Probert's Russell Woods Drive home just after 8 a.m. July 1 after his wife called 911. "She was frantic," said Kavanaugh. She told the dispatcher her husband had been drinking all night and had punched a hole in the wall.

But Ducharme said Probert was showing his friends who were with him in the garage how poorly built the $1 million-plus home is. "They were horsing around," said Ducharme. "His wife didn't know that."

Yep, I agree, they just don't make million dollar homes the way they use to. It's enough to make a guy go nuts.

Anyways I imagine that was the only time in Bob's career that he's been able to get the refs to review a call and overturn it thus keeping him out of the sin bin... or as in this case... jail.